Japanese Love
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After living in Japan for 10 years now I have come to the final realization and understanding that the majority of Japanese don't or can't love. This is a generalization, but I do believe it is true and very real. I used to believe that Japanese just had trouble expressing love. Japanese certainly have great difficulty expressing deep personal feelings. I am often amazed from personal experiences and from what I see on TV at how socially and emotionally challenged Japanese are. Silence seems to cover an inability to express feelings. Social conditioning and a shame mentality seem to be the logical explanation.
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Going back to my realization that Japanese don't love, I believe Japan or Japanese doesn't have a love culture. What I mean is love isn't valued as much as pride or 電oing one's best. I want to make myself clear. I am not talking about a 澱oy meets girl and falls in love kind of love. Japanese do fall in love and have the feelings romance or 澱eing in love. I am talking about family love, a love for friends and a love for people in general. People just don't love each other. Families are ....loveless. I guess I can explain by telling you of some of my experiences.
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When I take my own son to kinder everyday I never see any parent kiss or hug their child to express love. This really blows my mind. I am talking about 3 and 4 year olds. Even when parents pick their children up there is nothing that you could call loving going on. A smile and a pat on the head at most. Parents may pick up there child and hug or hold them, but not for an expression of love., usually to satisfy a desire for attention from the child or a dependency. In fact, I never see parents kiss or hug there children anytime. Think about. Never expressing love to your own children.
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What I do see and hear are parents wanting their children (remember 3 and 4 year olds) to do their best and NOT CAUSE TROUBLE. The closet a parent will come to saying 的 love you is say 泥o your best (Gambatte). This is the last thing parents will say when dropping of their children at kinder or school. Something that really astounds me is parents warning their children to to causes any trouble for their teachers or friends every morning. Or, a wonderful playful exchange will happen between two children which might be a little bit funny or strange. Then either one of both of the parents of the children will apologize for 鍍rouble把aused and then openly scold the their children. Shame, shame , shame.